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ADDED ON: 10/28/2021

We’re being pressured into sex by some trans women’

10/26/2021 | BBC

One of the lesbian women I spoke to, 24-year-old Amy*, told me she experienced verbal abuse from her own girlfriend, a bisexual woman who wanted them to have a threesome with a trans woman. When Amy explained her reasons for not wanting to, her girlfriend became angry. “The first thing she called me was transphobic,” Amy said. “She immediately jumped to make me feel guilty about not wanting to sleep with someone.” She said the trans woman in question had not undergone genital surgery, so still had a penis. “I know there is zero possibility for me to be attracted to this person,” said Amy, who lives in the south west of England and works in a small print and design studio. “I can hear their male vocal cords. I can see their male jawline. I know, under their clothes, there is male genitalia. These are physical realities, that, as a woman who likes women, you can’t just ignore.” Amy said she would feel this way even if a trans woman had undergone genital surgery – which some opt for, while many don’t. Soon afterwards Amy and her girlfriend split up. “I remember she was extremely shocked and angry, and claimed my views were extremist propaganda and inciting violence towards the trans community, as well as comparing me to far-right groups,” she said. Another lesbian woman, 26-year-old Chloe*, said she felt so pressured she ended up having penetrative sex with a trans woman at university after repeatedly explaining she was not interested. They lived near each other in halls of residence. Chloe had been drinking alcohol and does not think she could have given proper consent. “I felt very bad for hating every moment, because the idea is we are attracted to gender rather than sex, and I did not feel that, and I felt bad for feeling like that,” she said. Ashamed and embarrassed, she decided not to tell anyone. “The language at the time was very much ‘trans women are women, they are always women, lesbians should date them’. And I was like, that’s the reason I rejected this person. Does that make me bad? Am I not going to be allowed to be in the LGBT community anymore? Am I going to face repercussions for that instead?’ So I didn’t actually tell anyone.”

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