This secret lesbian couple organised the first-ever White House meeting on LGBT+ rights, changing the path of equality forever

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12/25/2020

When Jean O’Leary, co-executive director of the National Gay Task Force, was asked by writer Eric Marcus how she managed to get a meeting at the White House, she recalled: “I had a lot of contacts with the White House, actually. Our main contact was Midge Costanza, who I had worked with… we had built a very good relationship. And when she got in the White House, I called her up and I said: ‘It’s time Midge. It’s time.’” Off the record, she would tell a different story. “She told me to turn off my tape recorder,” said Marcus. “And then Jean said: ‘I rolled over in bed and said: ‘Midge, we’re going to the White House.’ O’Leary and Constanza never got the chance to tell their truth to the world. As special assistant to president Jimmy Carter (the first woman to serve in such a role) Constanza was forced to remain in the closet by her position, and the couple’s relationship would remain a secret for many years, emerging after both had passed. Jean O’Leary had, as a young woman, entered a convent to train as a nun, but left to pursue lesbian feminist activism. In 1976, she became the co-executive director of the National Gay Task Force. She was one of only three out delegates to the Democratic National Convention. O’Leary met Costanza when she needed help trying to get the Democratic National Convention to include gay rights in the party platform, something that was initially blocked by Carter. The couple organised the meeting with 12 gay rights leaders from across the country. Costanza was repeatedly asked if she had cleared the meeting with Carter. She simply responded that it was on a public calendar and his staff likely would have alerted him. At the meeting, leaders discussed federal anti-discrimination legislation for a number of public offices and government departments. It garnered widespread media attention, with headlines such as “White House backs gay rights”, as the office was perceived to be taking LGBT+ equality seriously for the first time.

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