My intersex husband

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12/26/2020

Aku finally nailed it. She got married to the love of her life, a 40-year-old man, after two years of courtship without intimacy. As tradition will have it, the lovebirds went naked the wedding night and kick-started their honeymoon with great joy in a calm atmosphere. Barely two hours of pleasure and lovemaking, Aku’s husband covered himself and left the bedroom to the washroom, still under the cover of darkness. For two weeks, Joe, Aku’s husband would only make love to her in darkness. Out of curiosity, Aku spied on Joe at dawn whilst he was taking a shower and uncovered that her husband was an intersex- having both male and female genitalia. Aku felt betrayed and immediately demanded a divorce, with the fear that the condition could be hereditary. Intersex is a general term used for a variety of situations in which a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t fit the boxes of “female” or “male.” For example, a person might be born appearing to be female on the outside, but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside. Sometimes, doctors do surgeries on intersex babies and children to make their bodies fit binary ideas of “male” or “female”. Dr Brainerd Anani, Managing Director of GRAFT Foundation, a Non-governmental Medical Organization said being intersex means an individual was born with two organs with one being predominant than the other depending on the hormones which are domineering. Research shows that some intersex traits are obvious at birth, others only manifest during puberty, and sometimes a person can live their whole life without ever discovering that they are intersex. Dr Anani said intersex was not so common in Ghana, however, it happens, “people have this condition and they hide it because it’s not accepted by society. In the past, we know that people have been killed because in some parts of the country it is a taboo for a mother to give birth to a baby with two sex organs”. In reality, intersex is considered a birth anormally, but with a revised orientation on sexuality around the world, persons with intersex are calling for inclusion, arguing, they have a right to remain the way they were born.

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